Everything just sucks right now and I don't know why.
This whole blog post is just be letting out some sort of emotions to cope. This doesn't have to be read by anybody whatsoever, in fact, I discourage anyone from reading further because it's more just a way for me to vent to something through the act of typing on a keyboard, and other random shit that has nothing to do with the topic regarding my shit thoughts and emotions.
Anyways, I feel like my only life so far has been online. Not that it wasn't before, but I noticed that I feel out of touch with reality, as I find myself lost in a world full of cringe cesspools, watching YouTube videos that I normally wouldn't watch, and doing nothing productive with my life. I don't want to talk to anyone about these issues, because I'm not someone who typically vents out my struggles to others, reason being because I don't want to drop heavy loads of shit onto other people that probably don't care for what I have to say anyway.
I never really understood the purpose of venting. I can see why it's useful for people going through difficult times, or trauma, otherwise known by many people as "trauma-dumping". I can see why it helps people be able to have a voice, and knowing that they may be heard from some people in those same communities as well, and I'm glad we have a system, specifically online, that caters towards people's needs to get things off their chest.
The issue I have with venting comes mostly from the people who vent. I feel like venters expect people to respond to them with acts of empathy or sympathy or whatever the fuck they desire. That isn't entirely the case for all venters, but I've been in enough Discord servers to observe how many of these people only bring upon negativity, and how they usually get warned or kicked because of too much of it. It's completely understandable to want connections with other people, especially online when you have nobody in real life to talk to your problems about, considering how expensive therapy can be for most people. Even if you're struggling, you still shouldn't expect everyone to drop what they're doing to come to you and provide you with the sympathy you want. Not everyone on Discord is a fucking therapist, nor a psychologist, and we can't completely cure you from your illness, disorder, struggles, or whatever the fuck bothers you every single day, because we're just normal people wanting to live our lives. We actually spent our time wanting to care for you, and you keep being negative and negative, until it comes to a point where we have to actually escort you out of our Discord server because of it.
So, what does this whole venting thing have to do with how I practically hate everything right now? Well, it has absolutely nothing to do with it. Not everything in life has to have some sort of meaning to it. You think some poets write poetry that's always supposed to have some sort of philosophical meaning behind it? It's like when you draw a stick figure that looks deformed, and someone tries to "analyze" it and figure out what it really means. Bitch, it's a fucking stick figure drawing made by a four-year-old, there are no signs of schizophrenia or neglect in the child's fucking family!
I'm considering whether I should post this blog, because it seems to just be me rambling about whatever because I'm not having the brightest of days. On second though, I probably will. I don't really care if it doesn't fit the style for the rest of my blog, because I just want to people something out somewhere. I feel slightly better from typing all of this, and I never really type like this to literally anyone, let alone to even myself! This is the first time I ever wrote myself venting, which is ironic considering I was just talking about how I don't entirely like the idea of venting, which probably made no sense. Hopefully, I won't have to write something like this again. That may change, honestly, because who the fuck knows what I'll be writing on here.